


Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy

by Mntdewtop



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Crying, Doctor Steve Rogers, Eventual Happy Ending, Gay Bucky Barnes, Heartbreak, Light Angst, M/M, Nurse Natasha Romanov, Smut, Top Steve Rogers, eventual cuddling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-03 22:23:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12156018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mntdewtop/pseuds/Mntdewtop
Summary: Bucky tries to get it together but life's hard to fumble through with a literal broken heart.





	1. lachrymose /ˈlakrəˌmōs,ˈlakrəˌmōz/ tearful or given to weeping.

     Natasha pushed the key into the lock and twisted the knob. An indescribable sent punched them each in the nose as they entered the appartment. Yet, Tony Stark could obnoxiously identify and state the smell perfectly.

"It smells like sadness in here!" He whined nasally, index finger and thumb cutting off his sense of smell.

"Shut the fuck up." Natasha hissed quietly but violently. "He's in pain and you promised not to be a total dick." Behind Tony stood Sam who was scanning the living area. All three of them were surrounded by dirty piles of clothes and various items that were thrown around. The kitchen was in a state of total disaster. The sink was completely filled with used plates. The overflow was stacked around on the counter tops lazily.

The cause of the disorder was collapsed on the couch, hugging a pillow so close it looked as if it was the only thing keeping him alive. By the look of Bucky's appearance and surroundings it was. His face was red, a tad swolen, blotchy, and damp. Lack of sleep made him appear to be at least five years older. His deep set eyes had dark circles around them. The pajama pants he was adorned in rode low on his sculpted hips. The old t-shirt that was covering his torso had holes and random stains on it. Socks on his feet weren't matching. One was Superman logos, the other, little cartoon ghosts that appered to be very happy. Bucky chose that sock in the hopes that their happiness will possess him. But mostly because his toes were cold and nothing else could be found. 

"Bucky?" Natasha looked over from the back of the couch. She comfortingly rubbed his arm, squeezing the bicep gently. "[медведь](https://www.google.com/search?q=translation+%D0%BC%D0%B5%D0%B4%D0%B2%D0%B5%D0%B4%D1%8C&oq=translation+%D0%BC%D0%B5%D0%B4%D0%B2%D0%B5%D0%B4%D1%8C&aqs=chrome..69i57.7149j0j4&client=tablet-android-samsung&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8)... You okay?" It was a stupid question. All four knew it. After two weeks of radio silence from Bucky, the red head decided an investigation was needed.

"No." Bucky croaked, pillow smushing his cheek.

"We're worried about you." She brushed the hair out of his eyes while new tears began to develop. Silently, he wept. Natasha walked around to the front of the couch and sat next to him. Bucky curled against her, tucking his face into her side. His sobbing was muffled by her body but the wrecked noises he was making were still loud and clear. His whole back shook, arms moving from the pillow to Natasha.

Bucky was in complete agony. Since the news reached him, his stomach ached as if a endless hole of misery was devouring him from the inside out. Not the flu stomach ache, the gnawing pain that pain pills won't fix. Ever since two weeks ago it was hard to breathe right. Like he was underwater or the weight of his sadness was growing with each exhale, resting on his chest. A constant headache pounded in time with his pluse from the spontaneous crying. Only getting off the couch to retrieve food, alcohol, use the bathroom, very rare trips to the store for more tissues or for bed and sometimes he just slept on the couch.

Natasha rubbed her palms up and down his back, rocking just a bit. She turned to Sam and Tony who were still standing close by. 'Clean up,' The Russian mouthed. Fearing for his life, Sam started to throw clumps of clothes in the hamper. Anyone who knew Nat knew she would make pain rain upon anybody who interfered with Bucky's happiness. Tony, the fearless bastard, threw his head back and rolled his brown eyes but slumped to the kitchen to start on the Mount Everest of dishes.

"You should tell him how you feel, медведь."

"No!" He squeaked, high pitched and terrified. "It won't change anything." Bucky felt her pull his long hair back into a bun. " _God._ I'm such an idiot."

"No you're not. You just fell in love with your best friend. " 

"We never even dated." The dam behind Bucky's tired, sore eyes broke again. The heavy drops soaked Natasha's shirt. " _How could Steve do this to me?"_ Bucky all but shouted. " _For Sharon!?!"_   

"I've heard she's pretty good in the sack." Tony added before Sam shushed. 

" _OhmyGod!"_ He whined gutturally. The thought of Steve having sex with anybody made the hole twice as big and three times as hungry for any shred left of the brunette. Steve's large, warm hands touching the skin of another, taking or giving pleasure. Bucky silently begged to go back in time and plug the ears of his past self to never hear the news from Sam.

Steve has been dating Sharon for two weeks now and Bucky hasn't been able to live with himself. 

 


	2. athazagoraphobia  Morbid fear of: (1) Being forgotten; (2) Being ignored

      _'One foot in front of the other, just keep going.'_ He repeated mentally while slumping down the busy sidewalk of Brooklyn during lunch hour. The phrase was beginning to be his new mantra for simple tasks. Brushing his teeth for instance, proved to be very strenuous as he spent a generous hour and a half thinking of reasons to get out of bed. Bucky didn't bother to tie his hair back out of his eyes because the long brown curls curtained his dismal face. He worried that the normal people walking around outside would be judgmental towards him. That they would stare at his puffy face and red rimmed eyes and ask what was the matter. Although he did care enough to dress himself in jeans and a sweatshirt and apply deodorant. Natasha had come over again and demanded for him to go out to get fresh air for a few hours, informing him that she would stay at his appartment to ensure he wouldn't sneak back in. Claiming a month had passed since he'd seen the sun. Figuratively, a ton of bricks fell on Bucky's exposed skin as the realization that the Steve/Sharon relationship is officially a month old. The pain was hurting more than stepping on a Lego or hitting a toe on a wall or piece of furniture. So Bucky planned to get coffee and go to the zoo. Bucky thought it would be ironic to look at sad animals in cages after he caged himself in the confines of his home. Maybe the flamingos could cheer him up a little. The first smile in a month appeared on his face.

But he quickly remembered the inside joke him and Steve used to share when they were kids and the small smile melted away. Bucky teased that the blonde's knobby knees looked like the birds and when he blushed the pink resembled the feathers. 

  _'One foot in front of the other, just keep going.'_

 Bucky was reaching out for the door of the coffee shop he usually went to but stopped in his tracks. He saw Sharon inside, ordering. The corners of his mouth turned down. His shoulders sagged. His heart slowed. Bucky tried to turn the sad into anger but he was too tired. Bucky had to admit she was cute and nice but she made him want to put a tooth pick under his toe nail and kick a wall. 

Bucky closed his eyes tight-shut. Taking deep breaths, fearing that he would vomit white heat rolled in waves on his skin making it clammy. In through the nose, out the mouth. Repeat. In with the good, out with the bad. Dontcrydontcrydont...

Forcing his eyelids open, he saw Sharon and Steve looking at him, both very concerned. Bucky couldn't help for the life of him not to notice Steve's hand on her hip. Possessive. Loving. Automatically, Bucky raced to a garbage can and retched. His fists clenched around the freezing metal. Tears streamed down his face. The spew of past meals stopped and he stood up and wiped the strings of spit off of his lips. New Yorkers walked passed without a care. Steve and Sharon stood just a few feet away. 

Bucky felt his heart thud in his ribcage and ran. Ran in the opposite direction, weaving and bobbing to avoid crashing into people. Desperately, he searched for a place to hide. An alleyway was good enough for him though. The brunette leaned against a brick wall. Rivers of salty tears dripped down his cheek, off of his chin and onto the black fabric of his sweatshirt. He bit the meat of his palm to silence of his sobbs. In the end it was his sniffles that gave him away.

"Bucky!" Steve shouted out after him before rounding the corner. "Buck." He breathed.

"Fuck off." His best friend Blubbered. _"Go._ " 

Steve looked hurt. "What's wrong?" 

 _"Leave me alone! "_ Bucky screamed and pushed off the cold wall, sprinting as fast as he could to the safety of the appartment. 

 


	3. Appetence /ˈapədənsē/ a longing or desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~Steve's p.o.v~

     The pain in Steve's feet was becoming more apparent to him while he walked down the quiet hall to the break room. His watch told him that the end of his twelve hour shift was just two hours away. Natasha was eating her peach yogurt, sitting in a chair, legs in the other. Steve smiled, "Hi Nat."

"Hello Doctor Rogers." She greeted. "Not too busy savings lives, are we?"

"No." The blonde elevated the nurses feet slightly so he could sit in the chair and rest them on his lap. Steve dropped his head backwards, resting his eyes.

"Poor baby," Natasha mocked in a fake Russian accent, "Tired? It's only three AM."

Steve shook his mind. "Something on my mind."

"Lemmie guess. Six feet tall, long hair, blue eyes, heartbroken?" 

"What? Heartbroken. " Steve furrowed his eyebrows. "Bucky hasn't dated in years. How can he be heartbroken?"

Natasha rolled her eyes. "You and Sharon, dipshit. He hasn't gone five minutes without crying since. And he told me about yesterday."

"He threw up in a garbage can because I'm dating Sharon?" Steve tried joking it off. Bucky usually didn't cry. And Steve knew for a fact that his best friend didn't have such feeling for him. Natasha rolled up the silver cover of the yogurt and threw it at Steve. "What!?"

"Steve if you don't believe me go see him. Ask Tony. Or Sam. You need to fucking talk to him. He's calling me in the middle of the night saying I need to come over because he doesn't want to sleep alone. Bucky is falling apart." Steve's own body formed a hole, smaller than Bucky's but it was still there. An empty spot, needing to be filled. "He's heartbroken. And I'm affraid that he's gonna..." Her words hung in the air.

Steve broke eye contact, staring at his hands. He tried to think of a time when he saw Bucky in so much pain. "I don't know what to say." Did Sharon mean that much to Him? He's dated Sharon for just a month but known Bucky 29 years. "Bucky means the world to me."


	4. Lachrymose /ˈlakrəˌmōs/ tearful or given to weeping

     Bucky's feet dragged, causing the bottoms of his shoes to scrape loudly against the emergency room's linoleum floor. It was past midnight so the hospital was close to empty. The nurse sitting behind the desk was on her phone before she saw Bucky. The young lady's demeanor changed into consern. The man walking to her desk was pail as a sheet, clearly nauseated and in pain. Her name tag had **Wanda** in bold letters. The brunette leaned on the desk. 

"Bucky Barnes. " He stated, too out of breath to answer her questions. "My chest..."  He panted.

"Pietro! " She shouted for, looking around the corner, "Wheelchair, STAT." A young man with white hair and brown roots came out pushing a wheelchair and let Bucky sit down. He felt nausea come over his whole body as the male nurse pushed him to a room. He sat on the small bed.

"We'll get you into a gown before you lay down, sir." He said politely. Natasha came out of the hallway, blue gown folded in her arms.

"James? ' Shocked, she hugged the gown to her body.

"Hi..." He took a deep breath, "Nat.."

"Chest pain and shortness of breath." Pietro filled in, assisting Bucky take off his jacket and shoes.

The redhead shook her head, free of her terrified trance. "I've got this Pietro. " He smiled and left the quiet room. Bucky slowly peeled off his shirt he had been wearing for the past three days.

"I think I'm having a heart attack." He said. His tone wasn't calm or accepting, just too sad and tried and burned out to be fazed. He pulled off his loose pants and kicked them off.

"You have perfect blood pressure, blood sugar levels, and better cholesterol than I do, haven't smoked in at least a decade, very physical, and healthy weight." She poked his arms through the holes in the gown and tied the strings behind his back. 

"I've gained five pounds in the last month." He pointed out.

"Lay back," As she instructed him he straightened flat on the small bed. "I need you to rate your pain on a scale of one to ten."

Bucky closed his eyes, focused on his breaths. "Mental or physical? " He joked dryly.

Natasha knew patients who were in high stress situations made jokes and she was trying to treat Bucky as if he were just any other patient. "Physical. "

"6." Natasha started to put saline bags along with pain killers on a IV stand and placed the needle connected with IV on the back of his hand. She put small tubes up his nose to help him breathe. She also took the hair band out of her own hair to tie his up. "Thanks Nat."

She patted his arm lovingly. "Don't mention it, my [медведь](https://www.google.com/search?q=bear+in+russian&oq=bear+in+russ&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j35i39j0l2.3861j0j4&client=tablet-android-samsung&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8)."

With the same shock and concern Natasha had, stood Steve at the door. "Buck?"

"I'm having a heart attack. " He said, casually looking for the tissue box.

"No you're not! " Natasha whined, massaging her temples. "Chest pains and shortness of breath. And you're not his doctor."

"I can treat him just as any other doctor can." Steve argued.

 "It's a conflict of interest, Steve. Bruce can."

"He'd be more comfortable if I was-" 

"No. I want Bruce. " Bucky interrupted. Having found that box of tissues he wipped his eyes. 

 

* * *

 

      Steve's shift ended two hours ago but he still hasn't left. Still waiting for his Bucky. He sat in the hospital waiting room chairs, reading the old, sticky health magazines and playing on his phone until Natasha walked back in. She leaned against the door frame. Hands in her scrub pockets. "Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy. Bruce is discharging him now."

"Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy." Steve put his head in his hands. I put my best friend under so much stress I gave him a stress-induced cardiomyopathy. " He stood.

"Where are you going?" She blocked the door.

"Walk him to his car." He pushed past her arm. Not caring if she approved or not.  Steve found him still in his room. Getting his jacket on. "Hey."

Bucky didn't bother to look at him. "Hey."

"Feelin' better?"

"Kinda."

Steve knew he wasn't going to get much out of Bucky. "I'll walk you to your car."

"No. 'M fine." Steve didn't want to argue and make him upset.

"I'll visit you tomorrow. "  Bucky only shuffled out of room. " _You mean more to me than anything else in the world_." He whispered. " _I would do anything for you_."

 


End file.
